Emotional Safety is the New Standard.

We often enter relationships without knowing how the other person will react when things get hard. Emotional instability doesn't always show up early — it reveals itself in the later stages when egos get bruised and feelings get hurt. When rejection is involved and power is imbalanced. And it’s often in those moments that people show their true colours — or in my case their lack of emotional maturity.

Being involved with someone emotionally, even casually, is a risk. And it’s not just about “vibes” or “chemistry.” It’s about:

How does this person respond when things don’t go their way? Do they take accountability for their words and actions ? Do they weaponise your vulnerability? Do they create drama to punish you for not giving them what they wanted?

It's important to realise that when we choose people, we take our time. It’s not about just seeing people for who they are in their best moments, but who they become in the tough times when things get stressful and uncertain.

It’s important to remain open to new people and opportunities instead of standardising based on our past experiences. But nevertheless remaining vigilant and aware of the people we choose to surround ourselves with.

It’s difficult because at the end of the day we will never truly know who people are, so we can only really rely on who we are and how we choose to carry ourselves in moments of difficulty. Whether that may be tragic events, feeling sad, depressed, anxious, uncertain. Whatever it may be at the end of the day, it's ourselves who will need to see the situation through to the end.

And in the case where connections and relationships don't unfold into something safe and stable, it does not mean that it wasn’t real for you. The outcome sometimes leaves us with prolonged sadness. But you are not weak for feeling this. You’re a human being with an open heart. And just because the relationship didn’t unfold into something safe doesn’t mean it wasn’t real for you.

Amelia X