When Your Friend Needs You.

Whether in work, relationships, or family struggles, I’ve come to realise that listening is often far more impactful than rushing to provide answers.

When someone needs you, what matters most?

Often, when someone we care about is struggling, our instinct is to jump in with solutions. How can I fix this for them? And while our intentions may come from a good place, we sometimes forget to ask the most important question: What does this person actually need from me right now?

Helping isn’t a one-size-fits-all action.

Support looks different for everyone. What might feel helpful to us may not be what the other person needs. Instead of assuming, why not take the time to offer help in a way they can truly receive?

In recent conversations with friends facing tough times—whether in work, relationships, or family struggles—I’ve come to realise that listening is often far more impactful than rushing to provide answers. Just being present, creating space for someone to express their thoughts without interruption or judgment, is enough to show care.

True support isn’t about proving our value as problem-solvers; it’s about allowing the person in front of us to feel seen, heard, and most of all, supported.

Active listening over fixing: Holding space for healing.

For a long time, I believed that being a good friend meant having solutions ready—that offering advice or quick answers was proof I was helping. But I’ve learned that jumping straight to fixing the problem can unintentionally overshadow the person’s emotions.

When we bypass their feelings and move straight into problem-solving mode, we risk interrupting their ability to process their own experience. We might even push them toward resolution before they’ve had a chance to sit with and release what weighs them down.

The truth is, sitting with someone in their pain is hard. It’s uncomfortable to witness their sadness, frustration, or hurt. But by choosing to stay present and resisting the urge to “fix,” we allow them the space to work through their emotions on their own terms.

Looking back, I realise that the people who helped me most weren’t the ones giving me advice or telling me how to move forward. They were the ones who allowed me to get everything out of me first.

The power of sitting with someone in their pain.

I remember watching a video by Simon Sinek titled Be There For Your Friends, where he speaks about the importance of “sitting in the mud” with people we love. The mud represents their struggles, and sitting with them means embracing their discomfort without trying to pull them out before they’re ready.

It made me realise that, in the past, many of my attempts to help weren’t solely for their benefit—they were also to ease my discomfort. Seeing someone I love in pain made me feel helpless, and offering solutions felt like a way to regain control.

But true support isn’t about us—it’s about them. It’s about offering space, patience, and reassurance that they can heal at their own pace. Yes, there will be times when immediate intervention is necessary. But more often than not, simply showing up with empathy and patience is the most powerful thing we can do.

Why letting people feel their emotions is the key to healing.

I’ve finally come to terms with the idea that helping someone isn’t about giving the perfect advice or providing a quick fix. And in many ways, that realisation takes the pressure off the one supporting.

Support is about presence. It’s about saying: I see you. I’m here for you. Take your time.

In doing so, we remind them that they are not alone. No matter how heavy their burden may feel. Because, at the core of pain, the most terrifying feeling isn’t the struggle itself—it’s the loneliness that comes with it.

We may never fully understand the downfalls in another person’s life, and that’s okay. What we can do is stand beside them. To offer our presence, even if we have no words. To remind them that they do not have to face their troubles alone.

Being present helps someone heal.

Each of us faces obstacles uniquely crafted for our own journeys. And every challenge requires a choice—whether to let it break us or to allow it to shape us into something stronger.

So the next time you sit across from a friend who is struggling, don’t let the pressure of having the perfect response consume you. Take a breath. Pause. Ask yourself, What does this person truly need from me right now?

If the answer is just your presence, then be there fully. Because sometimes, the best kind of help is simply showing up.

Amelia X

Supporting your friend through tough times starts with showing up, just like this casual walk.

A thoughtful gesture like flowers can express love, but real support comes from listening.

Sometimes, sitting together with a coffee is the best way to show support.