Texting, Ghosting, and Self-Worth.

Kristina Kotouckova
Feb 27
4 min read

Updated: Jun 11

I’ve learned the importance of taking a step back from the present situation, no matter how emotionally connected I feel in the moment. The space I create for myself is invaluable.

It’s never about the guy.

It’s never about the guy. He’s just there on the other side of the screen, living his life as usual. He is independent, free to act as he pleases—whether he replies instantly or takes days, whether he love bombs or ghosts, whether he builds a steady connection or lets it fizzle.

None of it matters unless I’m clear on what I want and what I am willing to give. Without that clarity, any of these scenarios could trigger anxiety and overthinking.

So, I start by looking at myself—really looking. I ask myself, What do I feel? What do I want? The answer is always within me. When I neglect my own needs, I unconsciously shift the responsibility onto guys I barely know, expecting them to fulfill my core desires for love, care, value, and attention. That’s where things go downhill.

The power of the pause.

I’ve learned the importance of taking a step back from the present situation, no matter how emotionally connected I feel in the moment. The space I create for myself is invaluable.

Taking time away from the conversation, even briefly, gives me perspective. It allows me to breathe, to reconnect with my inner self, to ask, What do I want? What am I willing to give? Does this feel good?

Even just five minutes of reflection can be grounding. It’s an opportunity to assess whether the conversation is adding to my happiness or making me uneasy. Instead of trying to control someone else’s behaviour, I focus on soothing myself. He has the right to act as he pleases—the sooner I accept that, the sooner I can truly understand what type of person he is.

Texting, ghosting and self-worth.

This journey is about baby steps—not letting fear and anxiety dictate how I respond.

A few simple practices help: If I receive a message but feel unsure about replying, I give myself space. I read it and moved on with my day. I remind myself that immediate responses aren’t necessary. I can even draft a reply without sending it right away.

These pauses bring me back to the present moment, where I belong.

It’s easy to spiral into panic: Will he think I’m not interested? Will he lose interest if I don’t respond? But none of these worries hold real weight. His response—or lack thereof—doesn’t define me. The truth is, I am happiest when I act authentically, without forcing a version of myself for his approval.

When I reply out of fear, I lose touch with what I want. I abandon my alignment and start chasing validation. And suddenly, I am no longer chasing him—I am chasing the care, love, and attention I stopped giving myself.

Why you don’t need him to text back right away.

Valuing my own time and energy is one of the most powerful habits I can build.

If things don’t work out with a guy, life moves forward. I keep living, keep following my passions, keep experiencing joy—and before I know it, someone new appears. There is no need to cling to one person. There will always be more.

Instead of thinking, He’s the one, this has to work out, I shift my mindset: I like him, he’s cute, but I’m not going to attach—there are plenty of people out there.

The more I pour into my own life—through hobbies, passions, experiences—the less I seek external validation to fill the empty spaces. The more I commit to myself, the less I need someone else to provide meaning.

The secret to staying grounded while dating.

Trust the process. Trust life.

If the ground beneath my feet hasn’t crumbled yet, then everything in my past must have worked out in some way—I’m still here, still standing. That alone is proof that life is unfolding as it should.

Dating is complicated, but it doesn’t have to be. Texting, ghosting, self-worth—these three elements often get tangled together. But at the end of the day, texting is just a conversation. It doesn’t predict the future. And if someone chooses to ghost me, that’s entirely their choice, just as it would be mine.

It is never, and will never be, a reflection of my worth.

The key is to stop wasting energy on situations that don’t align with my needs. When I feel vulnerable, I can guide myself in the right direction—toward building habits that strengthen me, toward shifting my mindset from needing someone to want me to enjoying their presence, but not depending on it for my sense of self.

Whoever brings the joy also has the power to take it away. That’s why I must always give it to myself first.

By doing so, I remain whole, grounded, and in control of my own happiness—always.

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